My story…What I believed about myself and my life.

I grew up believing that I wasn’t enough. That I wasn’t good enough. That everybody else were so much better than me, so much smarter than me, so much prettier than me.

I didn’t honour myself as a woman. I tolerated behaviour that I wouldn’t tolerate now.

I thought I was living the life everyone else had expected me to live, I had fulfilled the belief that you go to school, you grow up, you get married, you have kids and then you settle down and eventually die.

Was that it?
Was that all?
What about me? What about what I want?

These were not the questions I asked myself until much later in my life.

I feel so sad for that version of myself who was so willing to put up with not feeling enough, not feeling good enough.

My lack of worth was so low that I wasn’t even conscious that I was tolerating much less than believed I deserved. I didn’t know anything about self-love, or self-appreciation, or self-respect, or self-worth.

That’s what powerlessness is.

I did not know that I could heal my I’m not enough. My greatest fear was my fear of failure, which is another aspect of not being good enough.

I believed I failed at school – I only got one O Level (an old version of exam certificates).
I failed at work – I was in a dead- end job at the age of 16.
I failed at marriage – I was divorced after 18 years
I failed in my next relationship – he left me for another woman
I failed as a wife.
I failed as a mother.

Because failure had played such a major role in my life, the fear of failure was horrific. I mean really traumatic. I was terrified of failing.

I believed that people laughed at me behind my back.
I believed that people made fun of me.
I believed that people thought I was a complete waste of space.

To fail was to die. Again. Not in a physical sense but emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Then they would all laugh at me again.

They who had everything.
They who had accomplished so much.
They whose lives were perfect.

Fear of failure stopped me from doing so many things.
Fear of failure held me back.
Fear of failure paralysed me.

I would run as far as I could rather than fail.
I felt desperate to fit in.
To pretend that everything was fine.
I became a people pleaser.

Fear of failure got me to drive my car 50 miles away to Cleveleys, to write a letter to my then, Ayurveda  teacher, letting her know that I was withdrawing from a 2 year course I was on and which, was almost completed, except one thing, I had to hand my portfolio in, which would decide whether I passed or failed.

It was too much. I couldn’t handle the anxiety I was feeling.

So, I drove 50 miles to Cleveleys, wrote my letter and drove 50 miles back and rang my teacher.

My plan was not to sound as though as I was reading my letter but that I was just saying the words naturally.

My teacher listened and then asked why now?

I couldn’t answer her. She said she would leave that question with me. It was only 2 weeks to graduation and I got in the shower and thought about what I had done.

I laughed uncontrollably. I was amazed at the length that I had gone to because of my fear of failing. I was willing to sabotage 2 years of work because I was so scared that my portfolio wouldn’t be good enough and I would fail.

I am pleased to say that I completed the course and graduated.

You see, it had been drummed into me as a small child that you did the best you could. My inner child interpreted that as DO NOT FAIL AT ANYTHING.

I did my best, it wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t good enough. There was something wrong with me.

This became my core belief.

And this is why, when I failed at something, I took it so personally and became so hard on myself.

I beat myself up.
I criticised myself.
I didn’t like who I was.

Then, on the verge of a nervous breakdown, I came across Louise Hay and I changed my life.

I had been off work with work related stress for 6 months and I was really poorly.

I had no idea how ill I was.

It was a very dark time in my life and I read Louise Hay’s book, The Power Is Within You. Reading the book I couldn’t stop crying. I had a HUGE realization… was me….I could change….I didn’t have to believe all these limiting beliefs anymore.

I began to apply Louise’s philosophies in my own life and the results were life changing.

I wanted to let other people know about this incredible woman and her teachings and in 2011 I did the heal Your Life Teacher training and became a licensed Heal Your Life teacher and in 2012 I did the Heal Your Life Coaching training and became a Heal Your Life Coach.

I was now able to teach Louise’s work and facilitate workshops, retreats for women and offer one to one coaching and group coaching.

I have helped hundreds of women to transform their lives, to grow their confidence, to believe in themselves, to stand in their own power and make their own decisions living life on their terms. Supporting women to be seen, heard and valued in ALL areas of their life.

Doing this work is such an honour. Working with these women is such an honour.

I shall always be grateful to Louise Hay and I remain passionate and committed to continuing teaching her work for as long as I am able.

Please know this,


Let me help you to remember.

Sending so much love from my heart to yours.