Why do you say yes to things? Would you prefer to say no but can’t bring yourself to say the word no?

Have you ever asked yourself why? 

Why do you continually say yes to things when you really would like nothing more than to say no. 

Am I describing you? 

Here’s the.  thing, when we are small children we are taught that we have to be a ‘good’ girl or a ‘good’ boy. Sometimes, if we are not that good little girl or boy we get punished. None of us as children want to be punished so we do our best to meet that expectation of being a ‘good’ little girl, or that ‘good’ little boy.

What most people don’t realize is that we take that learned behaviour into our adulthood, where we continue to still want to be that ‘good’ little girl or ‘good’ little boy. 

How do you know if you fall into this category.

Here’s how……someone asks you to do something and without giving it any thought, you find you have already said yes. Then maybe straightaway, you start thinking, ‘ Oh, I wish I hadn’t have said I would do that now. How am I going to fit that in with everything else I’ve got to do?’ 

You are still being that ‘good’ little girl or ‘good’ little boy. You still want to please people, you are still seeking the approval of your parents, except now what used to be your parents may now still be your parents, but they are also your friends, work friends, boss etc.

I have something important to tell you…..

YOU ARE NOT THAT SMALL CHILD ANYMORE!!

YOU DON’T HAVE TO PLEASE ANYONE!!

YOU CAN SAY NO!!

Next time someone asks you to do something, give yourself some time. Tell them you will let them know. Or tell them you will get back to them. 

This will give you some breathing space. 

Next, ask yourself, ‘ Do I really want to do……’ the answer is yes or no. If the answer is yes because you genuinely want to do it and not because you are people pleasing, then do it from a place of love. 

If the answer is no, then get back to them and be very gracious and say, ‘ I’m not able to do that for you.’ 

DO NOT EXPLAIN YOURSELF, OR JUSTIFY YOURSELF. 

No is a sentence all on it’s own!!

If you do things but really don’t want to do them, then you will be doing them from a place of resentment not love. 

So, it’s your choice. You get to choose. You can continue to be a ‘good’ girl or ‘good’ boy and continue to people please and seek other people’s approval or you can stand in your own adult power and say no. 

Lynn Meadowcroft – Empowering Women to Stand Up, Show Up and Speak Up. 

If you have enjoyed reading this and would like to find out more about what I do or if you think I could help you step away from people pleasing please give me a call or send me a message or email.