31 Days Of I Love Myself Enough : Day 9

DAY NINE: I LOVE MYSELF ENOUGH TO FORGIVE MYSELF FOR THE THINGS I DIDN’T KNOW THEN.

When I look back on my life, I can see times when I wasn’t as kind or loving as I could have been.

Times when I hurt people I loved. When I stayed in situations that hurt me. When I didn’t speak up for myself. When I tolerated behaviour that wasn’t okay, and times when I didn’t always behave in ways that I’m proud of myself.

For a long time, I carried guilt, regret and judgement about some of these experiences.

But here’s what I’ve come to understand…

I didn’t know then what I know now.

I’ve grown. I’ve learned. I’ve healed. I’ve become more aware of myself, my behaviours, my patterns and the impact my choices have on both myself and others.

I’ve also done a great deal of forgiveness work, both for myself and for others. And one of the most important lessons I’ve learned through the work of Louise Hay is that forgiveness sets us free.

When I first started learning about forgiveness, I struggled with it, especially when it came to forgiving myself.

Somewhere along the way, I’d come to believe that if I’d done something wrong, I deserved to be punished for it. What I couldn’t see was that I’d already been punishing myself for years through guilt, shame, regret and the stories I continued to tell myself about who I was.

I was holding myself prisoner to my past.

Perhaps you can relate to this?

Forgiveness can be a difficult concept for some people, particularly when they’ve been deeply hurt by someone else. There can be a belief that forgiving someone means letting them off the hook, saying what they did was okay, or allowing them back into our lives.

But that’s not what forgiveness means to me.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning what happened. It doesn’t mean forgetting, excusing unacceptable behaviour, or removing the need for boundaries and accountability.

And it certainly doesn’t mean we have to continue a relationship with someone who has hurt us.

Forgiveness is about releasing the emotional hold that the past has over us. It’s about allowing ourselves to stop carrying the hurt, anger, resentment, guilt or shame that keeps us tied to what has already happened.

Louise Hay taught us the importance of letting go of the past so that we can live more freely in the present.

We cannot change what happened. We cannot go back and make different choices with the knowledge we have today.

But we can choose to learn from our experiences, take responsibility where necessary, make amends where possible, and offer ourselves the compassion we may not have had back then.

We can stop using our past as a reason to punish ourselves in the present.

You are allowed to forgive yourself for the things you didn’t know then.

You don’t have to keep paying for your past.

Today, I invite you to place your hand on your heart, take a deep breath and gently remind yourself:

I forgive myself for the things I didn’t know then.

I release the guilt and shame I no longer need to carry.

I honour the lessons my experiences have taught me.

I am allowed to grow, to heal and to move forward.

I choose to treat myself with love, compassion and understanding.

I am willing to release the past and embrace the person I am becoming.

And if forgiveness feels difficult for you right now, please be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to force it or rush the process. Sometimes, the first step is simply being willing to consider the possibility that, one day, you might be ready.

You deserve the same love, kindness and compassion that you so freely offer to others.

Sending you so much love from my heart to yours.

Lynn